Sociopath: A Book Review

Sociopath: A Memoir by Dr. Patric Gagne is a detailed depiction of Gagne’s experience growing up, realizing she was a sociopath, learning how that affected her, and doing much of her own work to treat herself since there is very little resources about sociopaths available.

What an emotional roller coaster. By the end of the book, I was crying, like actual tears running down my cheeks (which is funny and ironic that I’d feel so emotional from this when, from my understanding, the author probably doesn’t). I don’t remember the last book, if there ever was another one, that made me actually cry. But this did.
 
To put it very simply, sociopaths have a hard time experiencing emotions like the general public does because they have a limited emotional range, thus rarely feeling “learned” emotions (like love and guilt). Based on Gagne’s experience (and research), sociopaths will partake in antisocial behavior to try and feel something other than apathy.

Gagne’s introduction ends with, “I am a criminal without a record. A master of disguise. I have never been caught. I have rarely been sorry. I am friendly. I am responsible. I am invisible. I blend right in. I am a twenty-first century sociopath. And I’ve written this book because I know I’m not alone” (xvii). What an intriguing way to start this book – it comes across sinister and dark, but also somehow inviting. I love how candid Gagne is (or seems, which I’ll explain soon). The book continues with Gagne’s childhood and how she came to understand that she was different from the people surrounding her. She did not feel the same things they did, and she had no problem doing things that others saw as bad. Through this, she learned how to develop and or manage relationships in her life. From a craft stand point, I found the way she revealed herself building relationships with other people fascinating. The details and pacing of it made me feel something, but I had to acknowledge that it probably didn’t make her feel anything, which was an odd thing to accept. It made me wonder where her relationships were going to go when her actions and other people’s reactions got increasingly conflicted.
 
Gagne writes in a way that made me feel sorry for her, empathetic, but it also made me wonder if she was a reliable narrator or if she was manipulating me. I don’t like that I thought this, because she explains that this kind of mindset is exactly what she tries to fight, but it was hard not to think it. By the end of the book, I definitely found myself trusting her, but still wondered if I should. This, however, made me acknowledge that trust is blind. Sure, people can behave in ways that give us more reason to think they won't betray us, but also everyone can betray us. We can't really trust anyone, so what makes them anymore trustworthy than her? I naturally trust everyone though, so I guess we’ll assume she was being honest in everything she wrote.
 
I found myself thinking that this book helps people understand a lot about others, not just sociopaths. Reading Gagne’s experience with wanting people to value her, even when her personality, something that's not her fault, was hard for others to understand, helped me when thinking about the conflict my husband and I face with his mental health diagnoses. He is not a sociopath, but reading this book has allowed me to stop reacting to him based on how I want him to feel, but rather, simply be there for him. I found myself wanting to be more like a David, Gagne’s husband.
 
The other existential thought I was led to have was this: what is good and bad? After studying psychology, putting in a lot of work to reflect on and understand herself, meet her own therapist, and then do clinical research, Gagne admits that she no longer wanted to be like other people; rather, she wanted people to accept her as she is... but then she did want to be like other people? In the epilogue, she ends up working really hard to decrease the anxiety and pressure she feels from her sociopathy. This means stopping certain behaviors. I wonder what made her decide that that choice and type of life was right? Especially when so many people envied her behavior and the apathy she experienced. I mean, I was rooting for her, and wanted her to get ‘better’, but what does that say about me? And who decides what better is?
 
I’m not suggesting everyone run around doing whatever they want, hurting people, or taking things, but Patric is right when she talked about guilt being a learned emotion, and what does that say about people? Society? Why do we choose what we choose to be guilty about? And then we expect everyone else to feel guilty about it too? So I was rooting for her, and for her to "manage" her behaviors, but then I realized that I didn’t know how I felt about my “rooting” once she got there.
 
Really, by the end of the book I had tears streaming down my face. I don’t even know what I was feeling, but what a testament to the storytelling she did. This book paces her experiences and conflict so well, develops “characters” profoundly, and truly lets you inside Gagne’s experiences, really hoping she’ll achieve the things she wants. Like I said, I think this is great insight into the mind of someone who experiences sociopathy (which is a relatively rare experience), but also just a great reminder that we all experience things differently and should be patient with people.
 
Originally, I started my blog in part to encourage myself to continue researching and writing about how transgressive fiction can be used to create social change. Life got in the way, and that research fell to the wayside. I do think that Sociopath has given me some more things to research when I pick it back up. While books in general have been shown to support empathy, this book worked especially hard at it, and it makes me think about how strongly developing empathy in fiction might play a part in social change.

If you're interested in the darkness that is mental health disorders, understanding people, and overcoming challenges, I highly recommend this book. I found it engaging, and easy to like and root for Gagne. You just might need a box of tissues.

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